Finding Your Life Partner is Easy With Benefits
WIP! I am writing this post as "the other side" of the negative perspective I took in my other post. It is meant as almost an "ideal". If people were perfectly capable of truly selfless love and could expertly manage their jealousy, envy, and insecurities and while deeply in those emotional states still manage to grasp compassion. This was far more difficult to write because I have not had many experiences with things going this way. I, for one, definitely do not live up to the ideal (but I do feel I am progressing towards it). Also, somehow right after I sit down to write this post Derek Sivers sends me this very relevant post of his which demonstrates at least some of this ideal is possible
Finding someone is easy...
- You get to turn off the logical, thinking part of your brain that is usually burnt out doing knowledge work all day anyways and relax into your body's feelings. Furthermore, it is helpful to indulge in those feelings and desires (sex) as that dynamic in a relationship is important to explore.
- This is a rare time when following primal urges doesn't jeopardize your future in a way that is difficult to feel in the moment (eating junk food, binging social media/entertainment, etc)
- In growing the relationship you will become more and more vulnerable with each other allowing you to be more helpful to each other's personal growth by identifying flaws and celebrating strengths. The long road of personal growth is more enjoyable to walk with an intimate companion.
- As you get to know the person more deeply you discover the reasons they behave the way they do which helps you perceive any of their bothersome behaviors as less of a personal attack.
- Vulnerability breeds Compassion